after spending so much time in the company of myself only, I’ve started to question how many friends I have.
am I actually close to anyone? I haven’t really talked to my best friend in 3-4 months (which now that I think about it is such a long time, how did that even happen?!), and my friends from school.. well many of them I haven’t seen in 2 months, and haven’t really spoken to at all recently.
so my question is, how many friends do I really have? should I maybe just not even try to get back in touch, because chances are that they’re much better off without me.
I really think so, y’know. I’m an incredibly clingy person, but if I get attached again right now, it’s just going to hurt so much more when I leave.
speaking of leaving… just thinking about it makes me burst into tears. not just because singapore has been like a second home to me, but because there are so many people I will never see again. people who have been a part of my life for years will suddenly be people that I knew in the past. I’ll lose so many friends.
I wish things never changed.
(excuse how all over the place this entry is - swallowed a few too many panadols when trying to lessen my headache. oops.)